i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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