it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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