did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
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i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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