if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
