what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
