obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.