I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
