Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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