I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
