I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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