its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
