I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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