FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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