pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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