Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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