My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
