the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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