So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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