Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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