Plan B is the new Plan A
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
