she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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