We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize