Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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