I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
did you just send me my own nude
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize