You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
