I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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