coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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