UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am naked and annoyed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
