we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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