On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
