She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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