Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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