u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
