When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
