So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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