He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
