Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize