Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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