she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Vodka?
Forever.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
