Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You can't motorboat a personality
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
