Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
