I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
