he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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