He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
