One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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