She's like a pop up book from hell.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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