she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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