Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
