Cold hands, warm shart.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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