Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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