at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
