Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
