Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
