shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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